#flipthescript 13: Healing & Hope for an Adoptee

This week I am featured on Lori Lavender Luz's adoption blog: flipthescript series, where she again talks about my memoir along with some recent legal updates concerning the upcoming date in January, 2017 where adult adoptees born in New Jersey can have access to their original birth certificates. Original birth certificates in the state of New Jersey are currently still under lock and key. Click here to read and go to Lori's page.

Adult Adoptees in NJ will have access to their original Birth Certificates in January 2017!

It's finally going to happen for adult adopted individuals in New Jersey-access to our very own original birth certificate.  Even though I am in reunion with both my birth mother and birth father for over twenty years, I still do not have the legal right to view or access my own original certificates that pertain to me-my life, my own birth. That is until this January!
Although I haven't been the biggest fan of Governor Chris Christie, I will say thank you from the bottom of my heart to him and the NJ state legislature for passing this bill. I am deeply grateful to them for allowing adult adopted individuals to have the right and the dignity to obtain their own personal records.

For those adopted in NJ here is where to go to access your own original birth certificate:

http://nj-care.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/reg-41-newjersey-original-birth-certificate-application.pdf

Once you downloaded and filled out the form, mail to:

Office of Vital Statistics and Registry
Adoption Request Unit
PO Box 370
Trenton, NJ 08625-0370

You need to include two additional things:

• Proof of Identity (acceptable forms of identity listed in in the instructions section of the application form)
• $25.00 check made out to the State Treasurer of New Jersey

Thank you New Jersey!!!!!

Reviews Needed!

Its been a while since I last posted and a while since I received a review for my memoir. If you feel so inclined, please leave a review on either Amazon or Barnes & Noble or on GoodReads, all are welcome and much appreciated :)
Will be posting soon about the upcoming date when New Jersey born adoptees will finally have access to their original birth certificates!!  Woo hoo!!

Ohio set to open adoption records sealed for 50 years

Way to go Ohio!!!  I wish New jersey went into effect this quickly, I have to wait until January of 2017 to request my original birth certificate.  Hope all those adults adopted in Ohio receive the vital information they are searching for...
Click here to read the article

Apart at the Seams Book Tour

Great story-line, wonderful characters....

What a delightful read. This was the first book I've read from Melissa Ford and the story had me so engrossed that I'm looking forward to reading the companion books to Apart at the Seams.

Melissa’s writing quickly draws you into the life of the main character, Arianna, who is a single mother by choice who juggles motherhood, her career in the fashion industry and adjusting to the recent move of her boyfriend into her apartment. Arianna wants to remain single and independent despite pressure from her boyfriend to marry. In addition to being overwhelmed by the demands of single parenting while trying to advance her career, she meets Noah who seems to be the perfect fit for Arianna. They both share similar interests and similar views about marriage leaving Arianna to question her relationship and comparability with Ethan. The story seems predictable at first, and I found myself rooting for Noah along the way, but surprisingly the ending turns out to be much different than what I expected. 

• Arianna tells Rachel, "I think there are people we should be with at different stages in our life, and maybe those stages stretch on for fifty years or maybe they're over in a few months" as a reason for not considering marriage. Do you think not knowing the span a relationship may last is reason enough to not commit completely?

I don’t feel that Arianna has problems with commitment. At the beginning of the story, she asked her boyfriend to move in and planned on being in the relationship for the long run. She wants to have a significant other in her life sharing living space, day to day life and all the responsibilities that come with it. To me that is committing completely. What I feel Arianna has problems with is the institution of marriage.  Just because you get married does not guarantee a long committed relationship. The divorce rate in America is over 50% and many marriages end before the third year. Arianna is a mature, independent woman who can survive on her own with or without a man. I feel this sense of her independence has led Arianna to feel that she doesn't need a piece of paper to feel committed to a relationship. Her life experiences of living and working in the City and being a single mom contributes to her desire to remain committed to a relationship without the need for a legal document. 

·        

•   It feels as though Arianna would become irritated with Ethan for not doing things she needed him to do yet she often wouldn't verbalize clearly what it was she wanted or needed. Why do you think asking for exactly what you need makes you feel so vulnerable?

I got a sense that Arianna wanted Ethan to know what to do on his own and do it without having to be asked. This is the age old dilemma between a man and a woman living together, whether or not they are married. Many men feel that their partner will automatically clean up after them, pick up the dry-cleaning and clean the toilet bowl every week. If you don't ask them they won't do many of the household chores on their own. As I was reading the story, I wanted to tell Arianna to just tell him what to do! I hate to give all men a bad rap as some men do figure it out on their own and automatically help out without being asked but from my own life experiences and the experiences of many women that I know, men need some nudging. I got a sense that it wasn't because Arianna felt she would lose her independence by asking Ethan to help out, but that she was just irritated that she had to tell him what to do in the first place. I felt frustrated along with Arianna.

To continue to the next leg of this book tour, please visit the main list at LavenderLuz.com.http://lavenderluz.com  

Christie signs Adoptee Birthright Bill!!

It's official, yesterday NJ Governor Chris Christie signed the Adoptee Birthright Bill which will give adult individuals who were adopted in New Jersey access to their own original birth certificate. Access does not start until 2017. Christie wanted to give birth-parents time to contact the state if they want any identifying information removed for their privacy.  What a great compromise! I am so happy and so looking forward to actually seeing my original birth certificate.  What do you think about this new bill?

Kindle Available again!

Wow, Amazon fixed that bug very quickly, very thankful to them for such a quick response.  Memoir is back up and available on the Kindle Website.
Spring is finally here in the Northeast, it's been a long, cold Winter but warmer days are ahead.
Have a great Day today and Happy reading all.