I just came across this short video clip on Huffington Post about a birth mother who recently entered what she thought was an open adoption which, in spite of her wishes will become a closed adoption next month. As an adoptee who was denied any information about her own original family this leaves me heartbroken!
Yes, this is the year 2013 and this is still happening!!!
Unfortunately, the current public perception of adoptions are that they are all open and the birth mother receives updates and photos about her child on a regular basis and maybe even a yearly visit. I know many birthmothers who go into an adoption agreement thinking they are going to be "open", only to find out soon after the adoption is finalized that they are at the mercy of the adoptive parents. The adoptive parents can then choose whether or not to continue with the openness of the adoption. I know this is true in the state where I live, New Jersey.
I also know that there are many open adoptions that are working out very well and all within the adoption triad are benefiting. However, there are far too many that are not.
I think my memoir should be required reading for every adoptive parent because I clearly depict the harmful consequences caused when you keep your adoptive child in the dark regarding their origins.
Very sad to see that adoption reform has not completely come full circle :(
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