Next Generation Indie Book Award Finalist for Autobiography/Memoirs (2009)

Editor’s Choice award and Rising Star Designation and is now part of Barnes & Noble’s Special Collections, “Catch A Rising Star”, a page dedicated to finding Up-And-Coming Authors.

"...Her story is unforgettable." -Kathleen Daley for the Star-Ledger

"Bauer’s yearning to understand her past the journey of her search and the resulting complexities make for captivating storytelling..... Bauer is able to make a personal narrative feel like a universal truth." ForeWord Review

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Apart at the Seams Book Tour

Great story-line, wonderful characters....

What a delightful read. This was the first book I've read from Melissa Ford and the story had me so engrossed that I'm looking forward to reading the companion books to Apart at the Seams.

Melissa’s writing quickly draws you into the life of the main character, Arianna, who is a single mother by choice who juggles motherhood, her career in the fashion industry and adjusting to the recent move of her boyfriend into her apartment. Arianna wants to remain single and independent despite pressure from her boyfriend to marry. In addition to being overwhelmed by the demands of single parenting while trying to advance her career, she meets Noah who seems to be the perfect fit for Arianna. They both share similar interests and similar views about marriage leaving Arianna to question her relationship and comparability with Ethan. The story seems predictable at first, and I found myself rooting for Noah along the way, but surprisingly the ending turns out to be much different than what I expected. 

  • Arianna tells Rachel, "I think there are people we should be with at different stages in our life, and maybe those stages stretch on for fifty years or maybe they're over in a few months" as a reason for not considering marriage. Do you think not knowing the span a relationship may last is reason enough to not commit completely?

I don’t feel that Arianna has problems with commitment. At the beginning of the story, she asked her boyfriend to move in and planned on being in the relationship for the long run. She wants to have a significant other in her life sharing living space, day to day life and all the responsibilities that come with it. To me that is committing completely. What I feel Arianna has problems with is the institution of marriage.  Just because you get married does not guarantee a long committed relationship. The divorce rate in America is over 50% and many marriages end before the third year. Arianna is a mature, independent woman who can survive on her own with or without a man. I feel this sense of her independence has led Arianna to feel that she doesn't need a piece of paper to feel committed to a relationship. Her life experiences of living and working in the City and being a single mom contributes to her desire to remain committed to a relationship without the need for a legal document. 

  •   It feels as though Arianna would become irritated with Ethan for not doing things she needed him to do yet she often wouldn't verbalize clearly what it was she wanted or needed. Why do you think asking for exactly what you need makes you feel so vulnerable?
I got a sense that Arianna wanted Ethan to know what to do on his own and do it without having to be asked. This is the age old dilemma between a man and a woman living together, whether or not they are married. Many men feel that their partner will automatically clean up after them, pick up the dry-cleaning and clean the toilet bowl every week. If you don't ask them they won't do many of the household chores on their own. As I was reading the story, I wanted to tell Arianna to just tell him what to do! I hate to give all men a bad rap as some men do figure it out on their own and automatically help out without being asked but from my own life experiences and the experiences of many women that I know, men need some nudging. I got a sense that it wasn't because Arianna felt she would lose her independence by asking Ethan to help out, but that she was just irritated that she had to tell him what to do in the first place. I felt frustrated along with Arianna.

To continue to the next leg of this book tour, please visit the main list at  


  1. Both of your answers really add to my consideration of the characters, because they are points I hadn't though of. I like the way you see Arianna and commitment/conventionality/independence.

    I'm so glad you enjoyed the book and that you joined the tour, Anne!

  2. "I got a sense that Arianna wanted Ethan to know what to do on his own and do it without having to be asked." Ah this. I have been through many years of personal and couples counseling and this is STILL an issue for me. My therapist has been coaching me through accepting that I need to ask for some things, sometimes over and over again, and that by asking for them I'm not devaluing the doing of them (that is how it feels for me, like if I had to ask for it, it doesn't mean as much when he does it). There is still the petulant child part of me that wants to stomp her foot and say, BUT HE SHOULD KNOW AND DO IT! but she is getting quieter by the year. Hopefully some day, she'll go away completely.

  3. I do agree with you that Arianna wanted Ethan to do things independently. I can remember feeling the same way with my ex husband. If I could see it needed done why couldn't he? Through the years I have gotten better about stating my needs but still am not as good as I should be with it.
    Your post provided some insights I had not considered. Thanks

  4. First and foremost, thank you for reading the book and participating in the tour!

    You got it exactly: "Arianna is a mature, independent woman who can survive on her own with or without a man. I feel this sense of her independence has led Arianna to feel that she doesn't need a piece of paper to feel committed to a relationship."

  5. I couldn't agree more that Arianna wanted Ethan to just KNOW what she needed with out her asking. I think it's a dilemma between a all people sometimes, not just men & women. It's a trait in myself that I get frustrated with myself about, that I'll get irritated with someone for not doing what I think they should know I need them to do, or how to do it. Something I am continually working on!

  6. Ah, mind reading... It doesn't work for boys, it doesn't work for girls. The house chores, yes, I agree, men do need clear instructions (there are no house elves after all, not in the houses I have been to), but then women need clear instructions for technical stuff (complicated stuff like adding printers, using appliances, and similar). Just because we know it, we expect people we love to know it too, which is not fair. Although honestly now, how can dirty bowls become invisible for men, HOW? You use it, you leave in on the table, it is still there in the evening, how come you don't see it, eh, HOW? But then, as I said in other comments, one can teach someone how to load (correctly) a dishwasher, but one cannot teach someone how to love. Ethan does love Arianna, and in the ends, she realises she loves him AND wants him to be in her life for good. In the beginning, when he moves in, I got the feeling she was just giving in, she was not exactly persuaded this would be the best idea. And Noah proved that. But when she gets the chance to think about her life, herself and her desires, she chooses Ethan again, who thankfully is still waiting.

    1. Yes, I agree. Arianna needed Noah in her life for that period of time in order to mull things over about her life and her choices and to finally realize that Ethan is really the one for her.